Friday 17 June 2011

One year ago

It is hard to believe that it is one year since our dear Helena left us. Like the shadow that danced from the candle I lit for her last night, her spirit fluttered away during the early morning hours of this summers day last year. Our lives came to a standstill but somehow the world hasn't stopped spinning.

We decided to pay tribute to Helena's memory with a trip to Rye, the little quite village in the English countryside that we stayed in last May. With the heavens pouring down with rain, we travelled out on the train and were filled with comforting yet hard memories of our time there last year.

As soon as we got into the town we walked up the little cobbled streets, seeking out the darling antique shop that Helena just loved and I wrote about last year. But when we turned the corner I noticed immediately that the shop had changed from its old shabby chic exterior to some fancy new ladies dress shop. The lovely old man who ran the shop had retired and somehow it felt fitting that this little gem had withdrawn from the world, just like our beautiful Helena.

We filled the rest of the day with lunch at the quaint Mermaid Inn, lit candles in the old cathedral, and took a taxi out to Great Knelle farm. This was the place where we spent our last few days outside the hospital with Helena and she really cherished it, always saying in the hospital that she couldn't wait to travel back out to the farm and the little lambs. Now we were back and the life at the farm felt the same, but we were there without Helena clinging gently onto our arms.

With time it seems one has to accept that we continue our days without Helena next to us, but I know we all feel her light and love in our hearts. I wish everyday we had gotten more time together, but I have also learned to be grateful for all we had. You are so very missed Helena and still so very loved. That will never change.

Cecilia and Helena at Great Knelle Farm


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