Guest Post: Johanna Eklöf

On the morning of Saturday the 19th of June, I found myself sitting in front of the mirror combing my hair after my shower. The fringe I'd let grow out hung very annoyingly in my eyes, you know when it is in that middle stage of 'not a short fringe' any more and 'not as long as the rest of the hair'! A vision of Helena sprung up in my mind and I knew exactly what to do with it!

During the years I was fortunate enough to know her, she always kept the same hairstyle. She had her long fringe pinned back with an elegant thin clip. I did my hair like Helenas that day, and thought about her through the weekend. I hadn't thought about her for quite some time, but she was there that weekend lingering in my mind. I decided that when Monday comes I'll sit down and look for her online, getting back into contact. I missed her!

I had seen her briefly some years earlier at Kungsträdgården in Stockholm, bumping into her late one evening just outside of the Opera. We had a hug, shared some laughs and promised to meet soon again. It was serendipitous that we ran into each other outside the opera as we have shared some special memories from that place.

When we were around 14 we both did an internship there. We got to know the Opera house inside out. We knew every shortcut through the rehearsal rooms and were the proud key-keepers to Oxögat, a small private room with a little viewing window, above the Minister's balcony. I still remember the lyrics that we heard being rehearsed over and over again from "Der Rosenkavalier" (The Knight of the Rose) by Strauss. When there was no one around we would stand on the stage and play the parts, singing in our very best opera imitation voices. We had so much fun together, giggling like the young girls we were when were when we were stuck in the elevator with Papageno and some giraffes from the Magic Flute ensemble. These are very special memories that we shared, and now they are mine to cherish alone.

Monday June 21st came and I googled Helena. I found her Facebook account, but it was locked. Then I saw that Camilla, a girl from our old middle school at Bodal, was friends with Helena and I read her sad words about Helena. She had passed away only 5 days earlier.

I will never get the chance to meet her again and say hi, but in some ways it felt like she came and said goodbye that weekend just after she'd passed away.

I never got the chance to get to know the young woman Helena, but I will always keep the memory of the young girl I once knew.

All my love,

Johanna