Guest Post: Anne Ostman

To my darling daughter Helena,

I’m sitting in our dear friend Wellela’s house in Runda at the outskirts of Nairobi. I miss you. I miss you so. The birds are singing in Wellela’s beautiful garden and the tortoises are hiding under a flame tree. I can hear her new houseboy as he is doing the dishes after our breakfast. Wellela has gone off to work and I’m really supposed to work as well. But, I had to write to you first.

You see Helena, I would like to thank you for everything that you have given me. Being back in Kenya has made me realize how much your life enriched mine. All your lovely friends all over the world that still care for me and your sisters only because you were such a lovely person. All those places you took me to, the music you sang, all the interesting restaurants and sights you always discovered and shared with me.

Somehow Kenya has become a very strong connecting point with you. Here you had your childhood- a childhood I think that was different in many ways but I know you had a great time here as child. We went to see the baby elephants in the orphanage, to ballet classes with Vera Zerkowitch, riding with Karen Plumb in Karen, singing lessons, and of course the school theatre performances, with all the amazing costumes that we had made at Biashara Street. I also remember how when we walked out in Nairobi National Park you were always a little bit worried but also amazed at your own bravery.

All this came back to me but not as vividly of course as four months together here in 2009. I spent Tuesday night back at our penthouse at Palacina Hotel. You know that, because I talked to you a lot whilst I was there. It was hard at first to open the door and the climb the stairs up to the beautiful rooms we shared, but it was good to meet you there again. I slept in your big bed in the lovely enormous  bedroom. In the evening I had dinner with Paulina, Gun-Britt, Aaron and Nathalie. Nicko, Paulina’s darling little son whom you loved so much, is not all that interested in flowers any more, he prefers to be dressed as Batman.

I have also been to see your Doctor Ajay. We talked about you and he said that you were the most beautiful and lovely patient he has ever had. Then he changed his mind and said that you were the most lovely and amazing woman he had ever met. It made me happy, not that I didn’t know these things, but that he thought so too-him being such a lovely man himself.

Around every corner I see you, with every smell I can feel you. It is lovely and I’m so grateful for all those lovely things we did together. Like the St Patrick’s ball at which you won the tickets to Zanzibar, and our lovely vacation there. Or like our trip to Lamu, and how we both could not really understand the charm of it. Then there is the time you took me to the national park on my birthday because you knew how much I loved going there and how you found the lions hiding, eating their catch.

Helena in Lamu

Helena you gave me so much light and so much worth living for that I will try my best to go on with your spirit, even if it will be hard for me to find all the right places and do all those lovely things since you are not here to tell me about them, but I will try. I am also very happy about my new job that will give me a possibility to make a change in a way I really think you approve of. Planting trees is good and so much is needed here.

It was very emotional to go back to Uganda. Kampala was very hot and the heat contributed to all my emotions. I kept seeing you with your dear old friend from here, Soraya, and I asked about her. Sarita told me that Soraya was hit by a lorry in Toronto three years ago when she was crossing the street with her headphones on.  It made me very sad to hear that she had passed away, and I could see her beautiful little face with her beautiful eyes when she used pick you up for one of your many adventures together. After a little while tears started to drop slowly down on my cheeks and I thought- Soraya was waiting for you. I know she must be pleased to have you around and you her. All my love to you and her.

Now I have to figure out five things that makes Tree Talk special.

Love, Anne 

Helena and Anne in Nairobi